Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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