im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
