so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
