i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
