saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
