do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
