but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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