i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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