Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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