This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
