You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
