If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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