I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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