I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
