I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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