Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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