I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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