My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
