Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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