We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
