i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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