Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
