dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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