I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
