what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
