i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
