either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
