Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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