Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
