6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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