im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
