I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
