I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
