they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
