i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
