Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
