Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
