So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
