I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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