yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
