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• (214): View more from Texas

  I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors

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• (206): View more from Washington

  This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  My boob is missing a layer of skin

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...

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