Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
