ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
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