I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
