brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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