I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
