i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
