thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
