Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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