so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
